So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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