I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
