dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
