I'm gonna have a badass scar
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
