Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
