Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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