Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
