Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
