Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
