Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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