I have demons in me.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
