So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Randomize
