Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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