U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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