Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm at about main and main street
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
