I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
