just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
