marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
