I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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