I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
