i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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