Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
