Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
