Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This baby is an asshole
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
