Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
