Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
