it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
