I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
