I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
