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so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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