in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
