You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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