i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize