i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
