Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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