let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
