so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We are two peas in an std pod
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
