Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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