He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
