I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
