Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
