she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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