I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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