i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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