Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
