Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
