Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
