Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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