OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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