He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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