You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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