so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
only you would photoshop your dick
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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