marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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