We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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